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November 24, 2009 / Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος

House, M.D. on the religious

This is a quote from House M.D. season 4, episode 2 titled “The Right Stuff”.

This picture is 500 x 296 pixels, click for 1015 x 600 pixels.
Feel free to copy.

The text: “Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise there would be no religious people.”
– Gregory House, M.D. Season 4 Episode 2 The Right Stuff.

Source: | House, M.D. | Episode 4-02 Transcript | The Right Stuff

The following few lines from that discussion:

18: You’re an atheist.

House: Only on Christmas and Easter. The rest of the time, it doesn’t really matter.

18: [Laughs.] Where’s the fun in that? A finite, un-mysterious universe…

House: It’s not about fun! It’s about the truth.

This picture was based on the following picture which is floating around the interwebz:

(Click to enlarge)

The text: “If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.”

The above picture suffers from some serious problems:

1. The phrase attributed to House is not the precise phrase that he said.

2. There is no mention of the episode number, so as to easily cross-check the information.

3. There is no mention of any other source, so as to be able to look for more information.

Thus, if you look around the interwebz you may find numerous publications of the above picture, and quite often some reader asks whether anyone knows the episode from which the phrase was taken, and nobody gives an answer, because any search for the phrase fails due to the alteration it has undergone.  (There is no need to be cursing, that’s the inescapable course of things since fifteen-year-olds nowadays know how to fiddle with Photoshop.)

I just did the extra research and found the original phrase, so I am publishing this somewhat more complete work today.

The same post on my greek blog: «Περι θρησκόληπτων, εκ στόματος House M.D.»

Copyright © 2009 Diagoras of Melos

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Leave a Comment
  1. Pastor Bobby Dufrane / Jan 12 2010 9:46 am

    Why I know That There is a God and That He Loves Me

    A Personal Testimony.

    Not too long ago doubt was creeping into my head about the Lord and then a miracle happened.

    Three years ago 100 members of my church were enroute to a bible camp in the Blueridge Mountains of Virginia. They were traveling in a chartered bus. As they sang hymns, Satan was up to his old tricks. You see, the bus driver was an atheist alcoholic socialist and that day he was filling his coffee mug with vodka. As the bus wound up through the switchbacks, the driver became progressively drunker. Then it happened. It was that day that changed this poor sinner’s life forever. Entering a particularly tight switchback, the besotted driver finally lost control of the bus and it plummeted 1500 feet down into a ravine where it exploded into a fireball incinerating the flock. The only survivor that fateful day was a young boy who was thrown from the bus by his father seconds before it hit the bottom.

    This young boy suffered severe brain damage from hitting a rock head first and will have to wear a football helmet and drool cup for the remainder of his life. But his survival proved to me that miracles do happen because God does exist and loves me. The Lord used that accident to bring me back to his flock.


    Praise Jesus! Just open your eyes to his miracles and you will see them everywhere.

    • PJB / Oct 27 2010 10:55 am

      Ppppffffftttttt HAHAHAHAHA, this is friggin’ hilarious, not that tragedy of what happened, but the authors absurd interpretation!! The naivety and sheer stupidity of you makes me damn near ashamed to be of the same species as you! If you told me that you were 5 years old I could put it down to that, but you are clearly not. How dumb (and just plain cruel) does someone need to be to call a kid getting severe brain damage a miracle?!! Surely if your god (purposely no uppercase) was to save that poor kid’s life, do you not think that maybe he would’ve saved the brain damage/drooling part??! Seems like a half-assed “intervention” to me. Do you not think it might have been better for the poor chap to have died? What quality of life do you think he is having? And what about the other 99 members of your collective? Were they not worth saving? Maybe someday, you will stop believing in these asinine fairy tales and free your life from the poisonous grip of this nonsense. You only get one life, live the fu<king thing!

    • PJB / Oct 27 2010 12:12 pm

      The lord is going to kill 99 people and make a kid retarded to bring one douche bag back to his flock? Please! Pathetic! And how unbelievably arrogant of you. Somehow you think that your life is worth that of 99.5 others?

      PS. At least you use the term “flock”, so you are fully aware that you are mindlessly following and influenced by the others around you that want an imaginary friend in the sky.

      • MD / Dec 2 2011 8:12 am


    • hassaj / Oct 4 2011 12:58 am

      Wow that story was terrible and obviously untrue. WOW….

    • Kevin Karstens / Dec 2 2011 8:40 am

      “Praise Jesus! Just open your eyes to his miracles and you will see them everywhere.”

      Praise the Spaghetti Monster! Just open your eyes to the fact that ‘god’ and Jesus are man made inventions, created to make people FEAR punishment and strive for ‘rewards’ in an ‘afterlife’ and you will see REALITY everywhere.

      RELIGION IS A CRUTCH, a LIE and a TOOL used to control the masses…WAKE UP.

      • Miriam! / Aug 16 2014 10:35 am

        I believe in FSM! Ramen!

  2. someguy / Jan 12 2010 9:58 am

    Interesting wall of text “bobby” but god still doesn’t exist. Sorry.

  3. Badtrollisbad / Jan 12 2010 10:32 am

    I doubt a pastor would use the word “drool cup”, that wasn’t even creative.

  4. Franzl Lang / Jan 12 2010 11:52 am

    Lol @ Pastor: Good one!

  5. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Jan 12 2010 12:02 pm

    Wow, Pastor, you got me worried for a little while over there! C-:=

  6. KeyboardCat / Jan 12 2010 11:32 pm

    its funny cause I googled for that Blueridge bus crash and it never happened. What happened to thou shalt not lie? lol.

  7. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Jan 13 2010 2:50 am

    The best kind of satire is that which is so subtle, that many people do not get it. But between me and you, dear readers, please, try a little bit harder!

  8. Proud Kuffar / Jan 14 2010 4:32 am

    No. I don’t like you. I don’t like you at all.
    Godbot liar!

  9. The Reasonable one / Jan 24 2010 7:05 pm

    all you god people should look up cognitive dissonance. interesting stuff. though in theory, by you reading about it, it should confirm your faith even more i fear haha thats probably an inside joke for those who really understand the theory

  10. Gary / Feb 9 2010 6:19 am

    Thank you for the effort. I like accuracy!

  11. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Feb 10 2010 5:13 pm

    ;-) that’s my inner geek, Gary!

  12. peter / May 12 2010 1:28 am

    cheers bud! your post here was EXACTLY what i was looking for to clear up my skepticism of the source or accuracy of this delicious quote. now i can be sure im not misquoting!

  13. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / May 12 2010 1:37 am

    Cheers, Peter! C-:=

  14. Bartholomew Warren / Jun 13 2010 10:54 am

    Three years ago 100 members of my church were enroute to a bible camp in the Blueridge Mountains of Virginia. They were traveling in a chartered bus. As they sang hymns, Satan was up to his old tricks. You see, the bus driver was an atheist alcoholic socialist and that day he was filling his coffee mug with vodka. As the bus wound up through the switchbacks, the driver became progressively drunker. Then it happened. It was that day that changed this poor sinner’s life forever. Entering a particularly tight switchback, the besotted driver finally lost control of the bus and it plummeted 1500 feet down into a ravine where it exploded into a fireball incinerating the flock. The only survivor that fateful day was a young boy who was thrown from the bus by his father seconds before it hit the bottom.

  15. Aspens Monster / Jul 28 2010 5:54 am

    Thanks for the corrections :-) Glad to see someone doing the research. I looked over and over for the actual clip of him saying this (“…reason with religious people…”), but couldn’t find it. Nice to know it wasn’t worded in precisely that manner.

  16. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Jul 28 2010 9:48 am

    Cheers, Aspens Monster!

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  51. Diogenes of Sinope (@TheDudeDiogenes) / Aug 24 2011 11:17 pm

    Awesome! I love that you took the time to source the actual quote instead of just passing on a misquote like so many people online – made my day!

  52. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Sep 4 2011 11:54 pm

    Cheers, Diogenes!

  53. Lee / Nov 1 2011 9:59 pm

    House did say something to this effect in the early episodes of season four. I seem to recall it being “Logic doesn’t work on religious people, or there would be no religious people”. I may be wrong on that; I’ll have to watch those episodes again and find it. It’s either the first or second disk of season four DVDs.

  54. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Nov 2 2011 9:13 am

    @Lee, I am not sure what point you are trying to make.
    The post explains precisely what House said, and in which episode he said it.
    What are you trying to accomplish by commenting on a post which you have not even read?

  55. Kevin Karstens / Nov 2 2011 2:01 pm

    LOL…I’m actually the guy that created the ‘misquote’ version of this poster, I sincerely appreciate the correction, and my apologies for not getting it 100% correct…I actually ‘stole’ the incorrect quote from a website, presuming it was accurate…i just adored the sentiment, and as I rarely have time to watch HOUSE, I honestly didn’t have a clue what episode the line came from…so my thanks to you for setting it straight!…;)

    -Kevin Karstens

  56. Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος / Nov 2 2011 11:41 pm

    Cheers, Kevin! C-:=

    (Actually, I never watch House either. I just could not help but notice that many people all over the interwebz were asking where the misquote version came from, and nobody seemed to have an answer; that’s why I researched it.)

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