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December 25, 2010 / Διαγόρας ο Μήλιος

Your Horoscope for 2011

Around this time of the year, for three years in a row, I have been offering my free yearly horoscope on my greek-language blog, and it has been a huge success. So, this year I decided to offer it in english, too.

nero_horoscope1

Click on your Zodiac to see your horoscope for 2011!

Aries (21 March – 20 April)
Taurus (21 April – 20 May)
Gemini (21 May – 21 June)
Cancer (22 June – 22 July)
Leo (23 July – 23 August)
Virgo (23 August – 22 September)
Libra (23 September – 23 October)
Scorpio (23 October – 22 November)
Sagittarius (23 November – 21 December)
Capricorn (22 December – 19 January)
Aquarius (20 January – 18 February)
Pisces (19 February – 20 March)

Now, english does not happen to be my native language, so if you see any mistakes, a) please excuse them, and b) please bring them to my attention. This applies not only to very obvious mistakes, like misspelling things, but also to more subtle mistakes, such as wording something in a way that a native speaker of english would not. Please help me improve the text for next year’s yearly horoscope.


ARIES
(21 March – 20 April)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Aries, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

TAURUS
(21 April – 20 May)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Tauruses, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

GEMINI
(21 May – 21 June)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Gemini, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

CANCER
(22 June – 22 July)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Cancers, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

LEO
(23 July – 23 August)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Leos, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

VIRGO
(23 August – 22 September)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Virgos, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

LIBRA
(23 September – 23 October)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Libras, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

SCORPIO
(23 Οκτωβρίου – 22 Νοεμβρίου)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Scorpios, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

SAGITTARIUS
(23 November- 21 December)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Sagirrariuses, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

CAPRICORN
(22 December – 19 January)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Capricorns, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

AQUARIUS
(20 January – 18 February)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Aquariuses, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

PISCES
(19 February – 20 March)

The new year is set out to be exciting and full of developments for you Pisces, if you stop being gullible and swallowing raw every quackery served to you by various cunning charlatans. Planet Jupiter will continue on its orbit, which has been fixed between Mars and Saturn for billions of years now, and has absolutely nothing to do with your dull and pointless life. Your chances of becoming rich by playing the lotto were, are, and will continue to be as many as if you burned your money and scattered the ashes, no matter how many horoscopes you read. Replace the tires of your automobile every 40.000 kilometers or every 3 years, whichever happens first. Those who have a grip on their life will be favored during 2011, while the incompetent ones who are expecting astrologers and sibyls to tell them what to do are as always the losers. Due to a very rare coincidence the planet of love –Venus– will remain for an unusually long time in your zodiac, and this is something which will not only have no consequence on anything whatsoever, but it does not even bear any relationship to reality. Those of you born during the first ten days of the zodiac should behave in a mature and sensible way. Of course the same is true for those of you born during the rest of the days of the zodiac, since it is generally advisable to all of us to always behave in a mature and sensible way. You should expect some interesting developments, which will come either on the first half of the year, or on the second half of the year. Your lucky number is whatever you fancy, it does not make any difference anyway.  Within 2011 you will notice a significant improvement of your financial situation.  Now, there are about 6 billion people on the planet,  and only 12 zodiac signs, which means that this prediction holds true for about half a billion people worldwide, and well, if so many folks see a significant improvement in their financial situation this year, then we have certainly solved all of our problems as a planet. Defrost your refrigerator before it is too late. Afford a few days in the beginning of the year to think of more constructive ways to spend your time than reading horoscopes.

 

Copyright © Diagoras of Melos

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4 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. mike rigo wolf / Dec 25 2010 5:47 pm

    Not bad mate, due to language (of course english is not my native language too) And kudos for the post, that it will be copied/pasted many times in various occations. Mostly as a comment on Facebook Astrology applications posts.
    I have just one objection about financial section, that you can improve as I proposed in your greek version if you agree. And one language mistake. It is not “yearly” but annually.
    No worries pal, we don’t write “Holy Scripts” (although I am going to ask you to put a hand to develop Flying Spaghetti Monster Theology , you can have a taste by clickin on my name) and by spreading geographically and through time, it will be eventually perfect . Unlike Scripts

  2. Snulgegon / Feb 20 2011 4:28 am

    I join. I agree with told all above. Let’s discuss this question.

  3. youth ministry / Feb 28 2011 8:28 am

    This blog site has some extremely useful info on it! Thanks for informing me!

  4. Snulgegon / Mar 2 2011 3:18 pm

    I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. Write to me in PM, we will talk.

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